Well. It’s been 5 years since Auburn Elephant reached the world wide web. After a few years of existence solely in the craft show space, I made the decision to dive into blogging and pattern writing. I had no guidance, no direction, and no experience. I have often been a ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ kind of person and subscribe to the philosophy of ‘fake it til you make it.’
Looking back, these were probably not the best mindsets to have and I quickly found out that there was a lot more to this whole writing/designing thing than I thought. I spent quite a bit of time flailing and feeling like I was in over my head. I was and still am, really. I attempted several courses and groups to help. I don’t think I really had the focus that was needed to grow this into one of those well-known sites that brings in a full-time income (which was the goal).
My husband was incredibly supportive though and it was nice to have this as an endeavor to channel my crocheting and desire to write. It didn’t turn into to a lucrative business but I’ve had fun doing it. In May of 2021, the company I had been working part time for offered me a new position that came with a significant raise as well as increased hours and effort. Since the blog hadn’t taken off like I had hoped and planned, it seemed hard to pass up the offer for guaranteed income. I made the decision to take the new position and purposefully set aside focus on the blog. It was hard. I feel like doing that was me accepting defeat. But, I didn’t want to continue to feel guilty or like I was constantly failing by not giving Auburn Elephant any time. By making the mental decision to set it aside for a while, I was able to focus on adjusting to my new role and juggling family and full-time work for the first time.
It has definitely been an adjustment. I’m disappointed that it has taken so long for me to feel like I have my feet under me and that I can manage to work full-time, take care of my family, and do something for myself. I’m still struggling with that last one, to be honest. This new position requires so much more mental effort that all of my me time is spent ‘checking out’ to give my brain a break. While this is important and I don’t want to give it up, I do think I need to scale it back. I’ve gained too much weight this year (the new job is 95% sitting at a desk) and my energy/will power/drive is depleted.
On top of the change in jobs, we also moved into a new house this summer. The house is great but a little overwhelming still. There’s a lot to do and no time. A bigger house also means more to furnish, decorate, and clean- who knew?! Again, my husband has been great and is entirely supportive and picks up his share of household responsibilities as well as mine sometimes.
This is a new stage of my life. It has put us in a comfortable place financially, for the first time in our marriage. We have goals for the future that actually seem attainable. There are a lot of things going right.
As far as Auburn Elephant… I’ll never give this up entirely. I love it. It makes me happy to see people share makes from my patterns. I love coming up with new designs and challenging myself to create something original. There just may be less of it going forward for a while. And that’s okay.
I hope you find time to create, even if it isn’t as much as you’d like. We have to take what we get and make the most of it.